Impulsiveness
by Artemis Ignitan
Summary: The best things in life are never thought through. They're all purely implulsive. Or so Crow says. Gift!fic for Immicolia on LiveJournal. Rated T for vaguely implied bathroom smex. Jack/Crow. Squabbleshipping.


**(A/N): I really should stop having cracky discussions with people on LiveJournal. Then maybe I'd actually get my multichap!stories done. Hahaha.**

**Anyways, this one is the result of a crackish discussion with Immicolia on LiveJournal. She was lamenting how the filler episodes for 5D's season three actually seem to be more riveting than the plot episodes (which I agree with, actually, some of the plot has just been dull and repetetive and tedious, honestly), and then as a joke said that she was still awaiting some Jack vs. Crow duel. Bonus points if it was over something stupid like who would clean the bathroom. (Because those two fight about everything. Really, now.) Then the next day or so I wrote something in response to another one of Immi's posts about her never planning things through properly and then was like "oh wait, this works well for a summary of Jack/Crow. Hm." And then she encouraged me and it all went downhill from there. **

**So, here we go!**

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Impulsiveness

Crow's voice could be heard thundering from the bathroom. This was a rare occurrence-it wasn't often that Crow's voice thundered. It could be obstinately and cheerfully loud, yes. But not thundered.

"Oi, Jack, get over here and clean up your mess!"

Unless, of course, it involved Jack. Because with the way Jack Atlas was about things, you could never get his attention unless you thundered as loud and insistently as he did.

"_My_ mess? What are you talking about?! The great Jack Atlus does _not_ leave messes!"

"The "great Jack Atlus" is also the only one out of the three of us who's prissy enough to use _those_!" Crow yelled back sweeping a hand at the line of numerous colognes and hair care products.

"Eau de Cologne is not prissy!"

"Come on! 'A musky and pleasant odor that enhances one's masculine appeal'? Don't tell me you need this horrible smelling crap to make yourself feel manly!" Crow countered, waving about the said bottle dangerously.

Infuriated, Jack searched for a comeback, grabbing a childish looking bottle from the bathtub and brandishing it in Crow's face. It was a bright blue color and shaped like a teddy bear.

"At least I make an attempt to be a man! What is this-kiddie bubble bath? Grow up, Crow!"

"H-hey!" Crow spluttered, making a leap for the bubble bath and faiing-Jack was almost twice his height, after all. "I get that stuff for my kids! That sort of thing was a luxury they couldn't afford back then!"

"Then what's a bottle of it doing in _our_ bathroom?"

"It's a reminder! Shows how far we've come, ya know?"

"And I suppose using it reminds you too, Crow?" Jack shook the bottle, which had obviously been opened and was partially empty.

"Hey," Crow growled. "Stop changing the subject! This is about you leaving a mess!"

"Mess, what mess?"

"_That_ mess!" Crow brandished to stains left in the sink clearly left by overuse of hair care products-there were even strands of golden hair interwoven with the drain. It wasn't very much-it was actually not that noticable.

"That-that's nothing!!!"

"Nothing, you say? Have you forgotten that this _isn't our place_? That old lady Zora's lending it to us, remember? That old lady Zora who scrutinizes and bitches at us for _every single stinking thing that we do_? If she finds one hair out of line, she'll definetly kick us out! Or at least give us another verbal lashing!"

"Those stains are insignificant and not worth my time cleaning up!!!"

"Insignificant, you say?" Crow's eyes lit up dangerously, his fingers clenching the bottle of cologne tighter. Before Jack knew it, the bottle's contents had been emptied on the teflon floor between them.

"There's a mess worthy of the great Jack Atlas," Crow smirked. "Clean that up."

Needless to say, Jack was infuriated.

"No way in hell am I cleaning that up! You definetely created that mess!"

"If your crap-smelling liquid wasn't there, I wouldn't have spilled it. It's your responsibility." Crow grinned impishly.

"Oh yeah? Two can play at that game, Crow!" Jack snapped back, pouring the contents of the bubble bath bear bottle on the floor-and a little bit on the shorter redhead for good measure.

"And that mess is your responsibility, Crow."

Crow wasn't grinning. He instead leapt at Jack, snarling.

"Bastard!"

Unfortunately, he had forgotten about the slippery mess between them. With him suddenly losing his footing and Jack's taller stature, he was quickly grabbed and slammed against the bathroom wall by the triumphant blond duelist. Jack leaned closer, smirking.

"What do you have to say now, Crow? Who's cleaning?"

Crow said nothing, frowning sullently before a large grin suddenly crossed his face as he quickly closed the narrow gap between the two to plant a quick kiss on the other's lips.

"I'd have to say you are, once you let me go," Crow quipped, grinning.

Jack looked flustered and surprised, his grip slackening after the stunt Crow had pulled. However, when he felt Crow trying to make the most of the opportunity and wriggle out of his grasp, he tightened his grip again, looking livid.

"What was _that_ all about, Crow?!"

"I don't know what happened myself, Jack," Crow grinned. "It was like I'd lost control back there. Something about you just _drew_ me, ya know?" Jack was further flustered when Crow began slowly nuzzling the nape of his neck, burrowing his face in the crook between his neck and shoulder. "Mmm-hmm-hm. _Masculine appeal_, is it?"

"B-bastard," Jack muttered, becoming more flustered as Crow continued to nuzzle him. If he let go, that would be like admitting defeat, but forcing Crow to stop would also be admitting defeat as well. "You're totally screwing with me, aren't you?"

"So what if I am?" Crow grinned into Jack's neck, his voice muffled.

"This is coming out of nowhere, Crow!"

"What's so wrong about that?" Crow almost purred, looking back up at Jack. "Some of the best things in life come out of nowhere," he continued, giving Jack another peck on the lip, smiling almost knowingly.

"Don't ya think so?"

They never did get around to cleaning up that mess, much to Yuusei's displeasure.

**FIN****  
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(A/N): Review, plz?


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